Insanity
by wayiiseewriting
Summary: Albert Einstein once said the defintion of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Started off as one thing and kind of ended of this. I hope you enjoy!


Texting.

Clint Barton takes a deep breath. To say the Avenger was struggling Would not be a an understatement. He takes his phone out And dials out a number that he hasn't dialed in six months.

"l miss you." That was the first text message.

The second text message is filled With sadness. "I don't Know how I am doing this without you ."

The third text message doesn't come until a month after the second. "I'm not doing okay. Nat won't let me stay by myself anymore. After drinking myself into a coma, I wouldn't leave myself alone either."

Clint doesn't see Natasha moving the two of them into the newly named Avenger building. It's days when the red Russian woman brought him into a floor especially made for Clint. "Welcome home." The woman said before leaving alone to learn his new place.

Clint walks into his newly made apartment. It was filled with couches, kitchen items. Anything you can think of, it was there. All done by Tony Stark. He walked into the master bedroom and a small tear escaped Clint's eye. It was the same bedding for Clint's and Phil's apartment. Sure he hasn't been there for three months, since Phil's death but it was a little piece of home. By the bedside was a picture of him and Phil on the bedside. The picture was a sweet memory, until now, didn't know there was proof of. It was a picture of Phil smiling and Clint laughing moments after the Suit asked the Archer to marry him. The rest of the night he spent in bed, holding a ring in his hand and cried.

The fourth message is sent right after that. "I'm so mad at you."

"You promised. " The fifith text message said only moments after.

"You promised not to me leave."

"Both of us were not allowed to die."

"You died."

"You left me alone."

"I wasn't suppose to lose anyone else." The last five text messages went sent one at a time seconds after each other.

His heart dropped at the fact he never got a reply, even with how hard he prayed, he hoped for one.

As the two month mark passed, Clint had a new tattoo. It was a small place on his shoulder blade as a memory to Phil, the man he loved, as the first place Phil kissed him. He was so lost and now he didn't know what to do.

The three month mark passed and soon after one night, it was just Steve Rogers (better known as Captain America) and him on the couch. Clint had a strong vodka drink made by Jarvis and Steve was nursing a beer, that he knew wouldn't do anything for him. Steve was watching the Archer carefully as he drank. He could tell something was on the man's heart but didn't want to confess it. An hour later, Clint had three or four drinks in him when he said, "I broke my phone earlier."

Steve's ears perked up. "Oh?" He didn't want to jinx anything by saying to much. It was the first time since Clint's move in Stark (now known as The Avenger Tower) Tower, Clint has said a word to anyone about anything that was important.

"Do you know that Albert Einstein once said that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity." He doesn't expect Cap to say anything to him but he looked to the symbol of United States to make sure he was listening before he went on. "I keep texting Phil expecting him to reply back and he never does. Never." He sighs putting his hand through his hair and pulling at it. "I loved him. Three years in a relationship. Noone really knew. Nat. Fury. Hill. Noone else." A small tear falls from his eye. "What am I going to do?"

Stever feels for the younger one. "I understand. I'm here. If you just need someone to listen or someone to just to hold you for mintue. I understand the longing. The understand the sadness and the loneliness. I get the feeling of not knowing what to do. Bucky and I were..." His voice drags off. "After Bucky passed away, I was so lost. It sucks. All the feelings suck and you just have to keep the person close to you and move on."

Aftwr Steve's little speech, the specialist broke down into sobs. "You are okay. It's gping to be okay. I'll help you." Steve whispers softly as he moved himself closer to the other Avenger and patted his back. At the moment, this is all what Steve could do.

The next day, Clint was in his apartment at The Avenger Tower. He was in his Calforina King Size bed with a pillow and small blanket that he stole from the small apartment they had in Brooklyn together. He didn't tell anyone that a week before the accident, now a day that's what Clint was calling it, Phil made him a special dinner (Turkey, Mashed Potatoes and Carrots woth Honey. He's favortie. He never told anyone that and he always wondered how Phil knew.) and asked Clint to move in with him offically. Sure a year before that Clint left his clothes there and was almost there every night unless he had a mission and then usually Phil was with him when that happened.

He barley opened his eyes before asking Jarvis in a soft voice, "What time is it?"

A voice he knew, that he never thought he would hear again. "It's a little after six am."

Clint shot up and he went as white as a ghost. "No." He started to say sternly. He rubs his eyes roughly and his body, without meaning to, starts to shake. "You are suppose to be dead. You are dead!"

His heart starts to race as the man he loves walka foward. "I'm alive...I tried to get here as soon as I can. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Clint. As soon as I could..."

Clint screams on top of his lungs. Due not eating right, losing weight, the hangover, little sleep and the amount of stress Clint has been under he passes out.

The man whos was suppose to be dead slowly calls for Jarvis. "Jarvis, can you please ask one of the Avengers to please come down here? I think Clint here needs to go to see a doctor. Has he been taking care of himself?"

"Agent Phil Coulson, I am glad to see that you are alive and well. The only Avenger available at the moment is Tony Stark. He is on his way, sir." Jarvis says.

After all this time, Phil was home.

Everything should be okay, right


End file.
